I feel trapped, I feel annoyed, I feel static. What’s best for me is definitely privacy. There needs to be some part of me, of my life, that isn’t shared. I tell Jodi a lot, and I’ve always enjoyed it, but now I feel like an open book. When someone walks into the lounge, I don’t want nudges, strayed looks, and raised eyebrows. I want to hold onto something that is mine. I want my opinions to be mine as well, but our similarities are tearing me from my identity.
My head feels like a different place these days. Maybe I’m more selfish, wanting to do things my way, and to use the methods I find best fit. Maybe I’m becoming more introverted. Enjoying time to myself, rather than listening to people talk about things that seem so insignificant. Maybe I’m becoming desensitized to other peoples’ feelings. All problems have simple solutions in my mind. I don’t understand why others worry and have such a hard time with things that have easy answers. Maybe I’m changing my outlook on life.
I can’t tell exactly what’s happening, but I know something is different. I don’t know how to feel about it either. Maybe all I can do is wait. Somehow I have the feeling that I’m contradicting myself. Maybe I’m going crazy. Hm that would be fun.